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What Shapes Emotional Intelligence? A Core Skill of Effective Leadership

Literature on leadership often frames the concept as vision, strategy, and decision-making. But decades of research across psychology, neuroscience, and organizational behavior suggest something deeper. Leaders who consistently perform well, inspire trust, and build strong teams all have one trait in common: emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, or EI, is not about being “soft.” Instead, it is about understanding emotions as data that can be used to guide thinking, behavior, and relationships. Emotional intelligence is a powerful predictor of leadership effectiveness and job performance. Emotionally intelligent leaders are better equipped to manage stress, build trust, and navigate interpersonal relationships. Several emotional intelligence traits are closely linked to job performance, including emotional stability, conscientiousness, cognitive ability, self-efficacy, and emotional understanding and management. Let’s take a closer look at these traits:

Emotional stability is the strongest predictor of effective leadership. When leaders can regulate their emotions and tolerate stress, they are more likely to remain calm under pressure and avoid toxic conflict.

Conscientious leaders demonstrate impulse control, follow social and emotional norms, and consistently strive for excellence. This discipline extends into emotional charged situations, where thoughtful responses matter most.

While emotional intelligence is distinct from cognitive ability, there is a meaningful overlap. Cognitive ability supports problem-solving and adaptability. In turn, these skills strengthen emotional intelligence and overall performance. Research suggestion emotional intelligence is most effective when viewed as a combination of skills, behaviors, confidence, and self-awareness rather than a single ability.

Self-efficacy is the belief in one’s ability to meet challenges. Strong self-efficacy further amplifies emotional intelligence. Leaders with high self-efficacy are more likely to engage in problem-solving, remain committed to goals, and approach obstacles as opportunities for growth.

When social-emotional abilities are managed in isolation, they are a weaker predictor of success. The strongest outcomes emerge when emotional intelligence is understood as a mix of skills, behavior, confidence, and self-awareness.

There is a strong correlation between extraversion tendency and leadership effectiveness. In this context, extraversion refers to people who are motivated by their relationships with others rather than energy preferences or social presentation. When people crave connection with others, it helps them build stronger social networks.

Ultimately, leadership is about who you are, how you relate to others, and why you lead. Emotional intelligence sits at the center.

By developing emotional awareness and strengthening self-efficacy, leaders are better equipped to navigate complexity, inspire trust, and create a lasting impact.

“Emotional Intelligence Predicts Job Performance: The 7 Traits That Help Managers Relate” by Sebastian Bailey, Forbes.

Feeling All Feelings: The Secret to Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out? This Pixar film personifies our core emotions and uses powerful storytelling to communicate the importance of feeling all feelings, not just the pleasant ones. Each of our core emotions serve a purpose. But what does that have to do with leadership?

In The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, the authors discuss the importance of leading from the head, the heart, and the gut. To be a great leader, they say, you must develop your emotional intelligence. Research supports this statement.

But how do we go about developing our emotional intelligence? The authors recommend starting by feeling all feelings. In other words, identifying emotions, moving through them, and appropriately releasing these feelings.

Let’s walk through that process, focusing on the five core emotions: anger, sadness, joy, fear, and creativity.*

First of all, what do our emotions tell us?

Working Through Emotions

Each of the core emotions tends to lodge itself in a different part of the body. If you’ve had butterflies in your stomach, you’ve felt the sensation of fear in your belly. When your throat tightens like you are about to cry or it feels like your heart is physically breaking, you are experiencing sadness in your throat, face, and chest. Joy might rise up the spine or ignite the core. And creativity can be experienced as a tingling sensation throughout the body, especially in the erogenous zones.

Take a few deep breaths in and out, gently, and all the way down into your belly.

The authors provide a question: “Can I allow these sensations to be here.” In other words, do not resist or repress the emotion. Appreciation can be more challenging but is focused on the idea that our emotions are trying to tell us something useful.

This is where you release the feeling. If you just talk about your feelings, you often recycle the feelings and risk turning them into a longer term mood rather than a 90-second emotion. Instead of talking, get rid of them physically. Move your body, breathe in a way that matches the emotion, or vocalize by making a sound. Think about how dogs growl or cats hiss. Let the emotion leave your body.

Ready to lead with more presence, clarity, and emotional intelligence?

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Every Contribution Matters: Giving Back to Non-Profits

The Four T’s of Charitable Giving

When we think about giving back to non-profits, we often focus on monetary donations. But there are so many ways we can help non-profits (like Leadership Fauquier!).

Non-profits need four kinds of support from their community:

1. 1. 1. 1. Time
      2. Talent
      3. Treasure
      4. Ties

What does that mean? Monetary support falls under the treasure umbrella. We need volunteers to give their time and talents. And connecting us with new supporters and resources help us grow. Let’s dive into this a little bit more.

Time

When you volunteer for an organization and provide both your energy and your physical presence, you are giving time. At Leadership Fauquier, for example, you might share your time by:

Volunteering at a program day
Joining a committee such as alumni engagement, sponsorship, or fundraising
Speaking at a session
Helping at a community outreach event
Attending alumni gatherings and sharing insights and feedback

Talent

Do you have a special skill like graphic design or grant-writing? Perhaps you have special knowledge in legal or financial areas. When you share those skills, you are gifting your talent to the organization. This might look like:

Leading a workshop or training in leadership, communication, or local issues
Offering marketing, design, or event planning expertise
Contributing writing or photography for newsletters, social media, or the website
Sharing subject-matter expertise as a guest speaker
Lending technical skills to help improve digital tools, manage databases, or edit videos

Treasure

This is the most commonly thought of gift and it is incredibly important for a thriving non-profit that can carry out their mission and vision. There are so many ways to give treasure beyond sponsorships and cash donations, although those are important too! You might:

Sponsor a meal or program day
Make a one-time or recurring donation to sustain operations
Provide in-kind gifts like printing services, venue space, supplies, or meals
Contribute items for silent auctions or raffles
Underwrite a special initiative like the class project or alumni events

Ties

At Leadership Fauquier, we celebrate the power of connection and thrive on community partnerships. Whether it’s connecting us to potential donors in your network or introducing us to future cohort applicants, you are giving your ties. We love when people:

Connect us to local businesses or nonprofits for collaborations
Recommend potential participants for the next cohort
Introduce us to new sponsors or donors who share our values
Share our social media posts to help expand our reach
Invite their colleagues or friends to attend alumni or public events

Bonus Gift: Testimony

I think the gift of testimony often falls under the gift of time. When you take the time (and maybe talent) to tell us your stories about the impact of Leadership Fauquier, you are helping us demonstrate the importance of our mission to future partners.

Final Thoughts

Whether you give time, talent, treasure, ties, or testimony, you are providing a valuable gift to a non-profit. Every contribution matters to these mission-driven organizations. You can take a moment, right now, to give back to Leadership Fauquier and help us create a thriving community through informed and connected leaders.

Top 5 Takeaways from Reinventing Greatness

I read Reinventing Greatness by Shari Goodwin – before I realized that the book was part of the Leadership Fauquier curriculum. I’ve never been so glad to read a book!

I’ve known Shari from the sidelines for many years, but when I came to Meridian, I was lucky enough to get to work with her directly as we planned a leadership retreat for our team. This, and my own journey through change, led me to pick up a copy of her book.

There are very few pages in this book that didn’t get a highlight or asterisk or underline – too many to name here. To say that this book impacted me is a complete understatement. I read this book at a time when change was happening in my life, whether I wanted to or not. For me, it serves as a “how-to” guide of sorts, resetting my intentions, energy and focus. When I read it, I felt like Shari and I were long-lost friends and she was giving me the advice I need to move forward with grace and hope for the future.

These five concepts were the most profound for me:

1. “To reinvent, you must say yes to yourself and pursue what you want.”

This is on the first page – playing it safe is cool. If you want to stay in the same place. It seems simple enough, but in order to truly pursue your goals, you must push aside your fear and embrace your courage.

2. Change is a process.

Shari explains that the there are various States of Transformation – outlined in detail in her book – but the jist is that as you
embark on your journey, understand that your energy and confidence will shift between trust and fear, often in the same day. It’s absolutely OK to not feel confident all the time.

3. Your self-identity is evolving.

Who we are, or have always known ourselves to be, and who we are becoming, may not always line up in the moment. This is a
fun twist on the term “identity crisis” – and it’s a normal part of the transformation process. Tricks she shares in getting through including remembering what your strengths are, the things you have already accomplished, and connecting with your why.

4. Breakdown to Break through.

At some point in your reinvention, you will feel like quitting, maybe (if you’re like me, even crying). When doubt consumes you,
consider Shari’s advice to shift your perspective to see what you may not have seen before; reevaluate what’s important to you, including your values and where you want to go in order to create your new vision of yourself.

5. Rest and re-charge.

High achievers often drive hard toward their goals, often pushing themselves toward burnout. Shari closes out her book with the
opportunity to plan what she calls “resilience activities” – and introduces the concept of MEPS – mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual – areas in our lives required for well-being. In a shift from the traditional way of thinking, which is to put these things last on our list after being productive, this well-being focused approach allows for putting ourselves first in order to be more productive!

Creating a Thriving Community Through Informed and Connected Leaders

Category Archives: Leadership Reflection